Fraudulent feelings

I just wanted to write a little post today about imposter syndrome, which has been on my mind for two reasons this week. Firstly, because Lily Canter, from Freelancing for Journalists, recently did a helpful session on the subject for the NUJ London Freelance Branch. Secondly, because I have it soooo badly myself just now.

So, what exactly is imposter syndrome? Well, basically, it's when a person is overcome with self-doubt, a sense of inadequacy or even a feeling that they are a fraud - regardless of their actual competence. In freelance journalism, this can happen a lot because our work tends to be so varied.

Depending on how broad our beat is, we can be asked to write about literally anything. This often means getting to grips with a highly complicated topic at breakneck speed and filing to a tight deadline. Then there's the fact we tend to work with multiple clients - meaning we have to learn myriad ways of working - and that's not to mention trying to master the various content management systems. Oh, and don't get me started on all the protracted processes for getting paid.

Frankly, it's no wonder that freelance journalists can be susceptible to a spot of imposter syndrome now and then, regardless of how good they are. In fact, it's a wonder we don't have it all the time.

Just to give one brief example, not so long ago, I was asked to write a rather sciencey feature about tsunamis - something I knew nothing about before I got the assignment. What is more, I also had to attend a press conference on the subject in French. Let me tell you, if there's anything to give you imposter syndrome, it's that combo.

But the thing that's really giving me the fraudy feelings just now is that I have been asked to speak on a very important panel, on a very important subject, with very important people. Yay. You might think this would be a boost to my confidence, but oh no. Because I am the queen of self-sabotage, the feelings of panic are already starting to set in.

I mean, what if I don't know the answer to a question? How will I cope if I knock my water over? What if I, er, corpse? Well, it is Halloween week as I write.

The truth is, though, as I know deep down really, imposter syndrome is just a pointless waste of time. Because, as one editor I work with often reminds me, there is always a solution to a problem. 

Got a subject that's hard to grapple with quickly? Well, that's what AI is for. Writing about a techy topic that's tricky to convey? There are any number of experts we can wheel out to explain it better. And as for my panel, if I'm not sure how to answer a question, I know in my heart of hearts that I should just own that and promise to report back later.

I won't ramble on for too long now, but there are some excellent articles out there on dealing with imposter syndrome - such as this one from the BBC - written by people far more articulate on the subject than I. Oh, but there I go again... Okay, starting as I mean to go on, I hope this take on the topic provides at least a useful jumping-off point - and that we can all ditch our inner critic sooner rather than later.